Chapter 14

She zipped through the door, her chest heaving as she sighed in relief. She was inside. It would be safe inside. Now all she had to do was make it through the day. She was a professional, she could do it. She wound the strap of her tote around her hand tightly, as if it would give her strength and started down the hall towards the Studio he was in.

Damn but she was tired, she couldn't show it though, couldn't let them see how she'd spent a restless night pacing the floor. It wasn't their problem if she had stayed awake, but every time she closed her eyes she kept seeing the damned headlights coming towards them. Kept seeing the grey of the concrete rushing towards her. And the feel of his body as she fell against him, that warm…..She took a deep breath and forced the thoughts down. She was already off center, thinking those thoughts just wasn’t going to help.

She stopped dead center of the hall and closed her eyes as she pulled in breath after breath. Get it together Alex, its not like they were after you dammit, you were just standing in the wrong place at the wrong time. It was a fucking heart attack victim. You have work to do, you can't let him see you be weak, he won't trust your decisions if your weak. Opening her eyes she finished her walk, her hand moving to open the door.

Richie looked up as the door opened. Finally. It wasn't like her to be late, not that they had a set schedule, but she was almost always through the door just after him in the late mornings. He frowned. Her usually smooth hair was in a bunchy ponytail skewed over her shoulder.

Her strict business uniform looked more like a Dr. Seuss book. She had on an orange fitted jacket, with a bright blue shirt and white wide legged slacks and blue boots. Her glasses were grey to him, so he figured they were yet another wild color. He knew part of her was very artsy, but...The night was too hard on her, knew it would be dammit. He glanced at Was. "Hey, we're not getting much done today. Why don't we take the day, huh?"

Was looked at Alex, then back to Richie. "Yeah, I could use a day away from this place."

Richie stood, "Hey Alex, how are you this morning?" He rushed over, taking her laptop case...he looked down. Her open, laptop case? She always had that thing firmly buckled in. He slowly slid it off her shoulder. "Why don't you sit down," he said gently.

She glanced up and read the concern in his look before trying to pull herself together. "I'm ready to get started if you are. " She almost winced at the near tremble in her voice, she had to get it together dammit. Moving over to her spot she settled herself on the small couch, not even worrying with the tote.

He stashed her case under the desk and zipped it up, flicking her lock on. Sitting down next to her, he fought the urge to reach for her hand. Dark circles peeked from beneath the wide frames. "We're going to take a holiday today. Boss' prerogative."

She bit back a expletive, she'd battled herself to get here and he wanted to take a day off? That meant she had to go back out on that street again? She swallowed then nodded, her hand reaching for her tote. "Well, ok, I'll see you tomorrow?"

Maybe she'd just sit here, spend the night on the couch. She thought on that for a moment or two, wondering if they checked out the studios when they weren't in use. "I'll just do a bit of um, organizing before I go if that’s ok?"

Richie leaned forward, going with instinct this time he snagged her hand and dragged her back onto the couch. "I was thinking just a holiday from the studio, not me. How about we get out of the city for the day? You can see my hometown, my house, my beach in Jersey. It's a bit of a drive, but it's not the city, right? We've both been working like crazy."

Her eyes flew to his face and tried to decipher his reasoning behind inviting her anywhere. "You want to show me Jersey?"

Why was he suddenly acting so nice? Usually she felt more like a pain in his ass than someone he'd wanna hang out with. She bit her lower lip a moment as she tried to work through the reasons behind this sudden change from work, work, work, and came up blank. "I've got so much to do."

He smiled. "C'mon Lex, you don't know me if you don't know my Jersey," he thickened his accent. Living in California had taken away most of it over the years, but he'd always be a Jersey boy at heart. "You certainly won't know my artsy side if you don't see where I came from."

Going with him meant going back out that door again. She could do that, sure she could. She'd told him in the beginning she had to see all sides of him, she couldn't back out now without looking like an idiot. Her body tightened as she nodded. "ok then."

He stood up. "Now, one thing--" he tugged on the sleeve of her orange jacket. "No suits where I grew up. It's blue collar. You'll have to lose the suit." He hoped it was a tactful way to tell her she needed to take a look in the mirror. He turned her around and tugged the stiff band out of her hair until her hair fell down her shoulders and back. "Now you just look like a hot chick on my arm," he said with a grin.

It was all about appearance, she knew that, but now she felt naked, she didn’t have her armor on to protect her. It was too loose too free. She exhaled hard and nodded. "I need my tote, I, can't go anywhere without it."

He nodded, glancing at her from the side as he pulled it out. She was...shocky? She didn't seem like she was exactly the Alex he was used to. Maybe he shouldn't have left her last night. The pull to stay had been huge, even when he knew it was beyond a mistake. He flicked his leather jacket off his chair and walked her out of the studio. She reached for the bag, but he just swung it over his own shoulder. "Can't leave that, gotcha."

She scrambled for every bit of nerve she had, every piece of moxie, every single strong nerve of steel she had acquired in the business as they walked towards the door, and found herself failing at it. She felt her pulse speed up, felt how hard her heart was knocking against her ribs and was pretty damn sure if she dared look down she'd see her knees knocking as well.

The closer they got to the door, the wider her eyes got, the harder it was to simply breathe. She could walk back outside, there wouldn't be a car out there, she could WALK outside. The thoughts kept circling as she watched him open the door, and stand there waiting for her to go through, watched as he looked at her curiously. Her feet wouldn't work, there were no if, ands or buts about it, they were stuck.

He stepped down, turned to her. "Lex?" Her eyes were wide, too wide, to be honest. He stepped back inside, dropping her case to their feet. "Alex," he said firmly but still she was staring at the door, her fingers bone white and laced together. He covered both of her hands with his and the cold there worried him. He shrugged off his jacket, swinging it around her shoulders. "Lex, honey look at me." When she simply stared straight ahead he cupped her face with both of his and gently forced her to look him in the eyes. "No one's going to hurt you, Alex."

It was so easy to say, but so many had before, he couldn't control the fools of the world, what if there were someone else out there intent on having another heart attack? What if….? She shook her head, as she tried to pull her thoughts together. This wasn't inspiring any confidence, she knew that.

She took a deep breath and attempted to step forward, the heat of his hand bringing slight warmth to chilled fingers. Concentrate on that girl, concentrate on the warmth. She lifted her foot only to set it back down, before drawing herself straight and forcing down the threatening scream curling in her belly. It was just a stupid door, she walked through them all the damn time! She took one step forward and stopped again, her eyes straight ahead and on the street in front of them.

She glanced up then, the hand on her chin beckoning her to look up. As she did she encountered the deep brown of his gaze. There was more warmth there too, the kind that might keep her safe. For the briefest moment, her head tilted to lean into that strong hand, as the words whispered from her. "Don't make me go out that door."

"I swear nothing will hurt you, Alex." His thumb crested the crazy high arch of her cheekbones. Her gold eyes were flat with fear behind the heavy frames of her glasses. His heart twisted as she blinked away a quick sheen of tears. Not knowing what else to do, he dragged her in close, pressing her face into his shoulder. "You're safe with me."

She pulled in his scent and in some crazy odd way knew he was telling the truth, that he'd keep his word, at least in this. Nodding into his shoulder she took a deep breath. "I believe you," she murmured it to herself more than to him. "Safe with you, right."

His fingers slid under her hair until he could find her neck and shoulders, threading through the corn silk that flowed down her back. "Right," he whispered. It had been so long since anyone had depended on him, even for just this little bit of comfort. It was just he and his daughter these days, when he could get to see her anyway. It felt nice to be needed, even this little bit. He felt the cotton of his shirt twist, saw her breathing evening out. "Better?”